I am Thai-ing not to go crazy.

(I wrote this a few days ago. Internet hasn't worked for the past four. Sorry about the delay.)

This is the week. I can feel it in my bones. My motorbike is on the way. I have my International Driver's Permit, and according to the deal I made with my go-to Thai gal, the next step is the actual acquisition of the vehicle which freedom built. But enough about that.

I have alluded to the fact in my other posts that the Thais operate a bit differently than I am used to. Sometimes it is endearing. Most of the time my sanity suffers (and as most of you know, it was already teetering over the edge). Here are a few fun facts about the Thai people.

1. SSSSLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW. To get anything accomplished here takes eons. I still have yet to sign a work contract. (Although this is partially my fault because I refused to sign it until the school actually raises my salary in the written contract. The administration agreed to the pay raise verbally, but when the contract was laid before me, the salary remained unaltered at its original, half-the-salary-of-a-normal-worker level. More amusing still was their suggestion--and they thought it to be a good one--to sign the contract anyway and they will work out the salary later in a non-contractual way.) In another instance of Tortoise-dom, the custodian for the building, not even the school, cleans the same portion of the hallway almost all day long. And the next day she does it again while the rest of the building remains dirty. This is not a case of "slow and steady wins the race."

2. "Maybe." The Thais are noncommittal and nonconfrontational about everything. Might, maybe, it's possible, sometimes, likely, not sure, I don't know, a blank face and a smile. Can you possibly understand that it's a little likely, maybe, that a person might get somewhat annoyed... (wait, too strong of a word)... displeased at the lack of a fairly clear answer to a question sometimes? Maybe, I'll see what I think later.

3. Wait for it, wait for it, oh too late. This is really a combo of the first two. Since the Thais are slow to accomplish anything, and they never quite give a clear answer to questions, all endeavors/responses/actions take place in the final minutes before the deadline. For instance, this weekend there is a big conference in Kanchanburi (about 12 hours from here). Only some teachers will be going on this 4 day trip, yet no one knows who yet. We leave on Wednesday (it is Sunday). Here's another: Last week we had shortened classes, but I was unaware of the shortening until the students informed me that class had finished five minutes previous, and I tried to argue with them that it hadn't. As it turned out, I was wrong. I was given the notice when I returned to the office, finished with school for the day.

4. "Oh, you got fat" accompanied by a big round belly hand gesture. Though the Thais cannot confront anyone about fixable problems, they are quite direct about your unchangeable flaws. When a teacher returned to the school, I heard multiple times comments about her larger features--arms, belly, face, etc.--that were directed at her. And this weekend I got my first haircut in Thailand (my left side is twice as long as my right) and a girl from my class told me I look less handsome and she walked away disapprovingly. A teacher grew some nasty acne due to the dirty water, and another teacher pointed at it and made a noise of disgust.

5. Thailand is called "The Land of Smiles."



(A Day After Posting) I was just informed that this post is pungent with frustration, which isn't necessarily false. The frustration is derived from the business dealings I am having with the school, not the people of the school and their treatment of me. And as much as this may sound like a embittered rant, it definitely is a description of SOME of the actual cultural differences--these just happen to be the ones which irk me at times.