Kids in the Hall (part 2)

Before I begin, the answer to the post, "When I was your age, I had a flush toilet."

Answer: Use spicket, toilet paper for verification. Throw away the (clean) toilet paper.

Part 2 of my exposé on the Thai students.

Three factors which seem most influential on classroom/lesson success:
1. Sanook -- Thai word for fun; every activity must be fun
2. Points/Attendance -- the ultimate motivator, students hate zero's
3. Mood -- if they don't feel like doing something, they won't do it

These three factors (particularly 1 and 3) combined do not make it easy to teach vocabulary, and it is nearly impossible to teach grammar. What does this really amount to, you ask? Very seriously, no one pays attention to anything ever. I am very pleased if 5 students in the front of the class notice I am there.

Thai students are the most recalcitrant individuals I have ever encountered. Sometimes it is extremely apparent that they understand the words I speak, like when I simply say, "stop." But they often look at me with blank-slate expressions and proceed "innocently" with their work from another subject. Their greatest weapon is the weapon of silence. Damn you, defiance.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, the students are extremely curious about me and my White European peculiarities. Most commonly I hear "Hello Teacher," "You handsome," and screams and giggles as I walk by the girls and the occasional boy (Thais are very open about sexuality). The most frequent questions I receive are "How are you?" "Where are you going?" "How old are you?" "Do you have a girlfriend?" and "How tall are you?" When I respond to these questions, the conversation typically stops because the students are too nervous or giggly to continue, and I am left grinning. Occasionally the conversation is steered toward the cold and bleak winters of my economically-stricken home state. When I tell them that the temperature reaches -5 degrees Celsius, easily, they are in awe. Very commonly the follow-up question is: "How often do you shower?!" They often suggest answers before I can respond, "Once a week?" or "Once a month?" (Only in my dream world.) Showering , I have learned, is nonsensical to the Thai mind when it is cold.

On Wednesday, I was teaching my M1 class, the equivalent of 7th Graders in the US. One girl said to me, "Teach-ERR, can I go get my bag?"
I asked, "Where is your bag?"
"It is in the music room."
(How in the world do you forget to bring your bag to the one classroom you use during the entire day, especially when it is 6th period?) "Yes, you can. Be quick," I tell her.
She looked up at me with bright eyes. "Ten minutes?"
(No way it takes ten minutes.) "No, five minutes," I said.
"Oh!" she exclaimed disappointedly, "alright, five minutes." She then pointed to her friend and began to leave.
"No, five minutes for ONE person. One bag, one person," I told them.
"No! Uh, there are two bags. Two bags," she quickly exclaimed.
(I do not approve of or condone deceit.) "Well, one person can carry two bags," I said, stifling all of her excitement about leaving the classroom.
The girl left the room, defeated, and her friend remained. She retorted, "Teacher, you dick... you DICK."

I smiled big for her.