Prison (Wo)man-Handling and My Pimp, Nancy

The Chiang Mai trip was a success, to say the least. Nancy, Pez, Alan, Cindy, Danny, and I had a blast. In Chiang Mai, we hit up the national park, Doi Suthep, and climbed around a waterfall, and we visited the Saturday walking street and I finally got my Northern Style Thai shirt... They will never be able to tell that I am not Thai again.

The funnier events (and the title of the post) are the following two.


First. A visit to the women's correctional institution. Alan, Nancy, and I stumbled upon this gem thanks to our trusty Lonely Planet guide book. Maybe that means we didn't really stumble upon it, but you get the idea. As we walked up to the prison, I noted my possessions and photographed our destination in case we went missing--the camera would provide documentation of our "last seen" locale. As we approached, the facility seemed normal enough. We did not actually enter the prison, just the prison massage shop across the street. We were taken into a windowless back room (not sketch at all), were given clothes, and were asked to change in a secondary massage room. Alan took to the bathroom, first to change, while Nancy and I stood waiting. The inmates are apparently of the impatient variety, and one came in to rush the changing process. She literally made Nancy strip right then and there, in front of me. I barely turned around in time (that's respect). Next, I was up, and I was forced to "dropped trou" in front of the others. Although the changing was odd, the rest of the massage was quite pleasant, to put it softly. And really, the masseuse had very deft hands, very deft indeed. Though it felt entirely safe once the massage had started, I was glad to have in-the-same-room Farang (foreigner) company to figuratively hold my hand throughout the process.


Second. My first night as a (failed) prostitute. Do not go jumping to any crazy conclusions yet (yes you, Grandma). Really, it was a fairly normal visit to a dance club, or discotheque. Nancy, Alan, Pez, Danny (newcomer--teacher at a Chiang Mai school with Pez, and instigator of the club as a destination), and I chose, reluctantly on my part, to go to the club at 2:00 am, about the time it started to get hoppin'. It was an all Thai club, meaning that there were only Thais at the club. Farang had to pay a cover, whereas the Thais did not, a very common occurrence in Thailand and not just for club covers. We bought a bottle of whiskey at the bar and finished it in about a half hour. We then put on our dancin' shoes and took the the floor. After some dancing and some serious surprise groping by some of the other club patrons, we returned to the upstairs bar. Looking back, it was a fairly normal, as normal as a Thai club can get, experience up until about 4:30 am. As we headed to the second floor, Nancy and I were stopped by a group of four Thais males. Being English teachers, we were readily drawn to the conversation. I was the first to realize that the exchange was heading south, however; 200B kept being waved in our faces in what seemed to be an offering gesture. (Mind you, everyone is drunk.) I said to Nancy, "I think that they are trying to buy me." As it was, they were. But instead of using logic and departing the interaction, awe took over my face and Nancy embraced the role of my pimp. She began negotiating. She managed to up the price to 300B (that's only $9, by the way) before common sense finally took over and we left. Just so you are aware, this was a safe encounter, there was nothing threatening about it (that's true, Grandma. But I kind of hope you don't read this particular post). :) The Thais are actually overly nice and respectful, even in this kind of exchange. We took off at this point in the night and stumbled back to the hotel. Next thing I knew, I was waking up at 12:45, in utter disbelief of the time, and I rushed to the bus station to return to Phayao. Schit.

Overall, Chiang Mai is quite pleasant.