It's a Thai Language Lesson

Here are some of the things you hear most often walking around Thailand, and I'll throw in some swearing and condescension for good measure. (The lettering I use is mostly my own as there is no official transliteration... well there is, but no one uses it).

1. sawat dee -- Hello/Goodbye. Always follow with krahp for boys and kaa for girls.
2. aroy my -- Is it delicious? Thais ask this one all the time. It is very important that their food is delicious to foreigners, it seems. And really, the food is pretty good if you don't eat the food I consume every day at the school. I always answer "aroy" -- It is delicious. my aroy -- It is not delicious.
3. suay my -- Am I/Is she beautiful? I cannot tell you how many girls have asked me this about themselves or their friends. The truth is mostly, "No, you are ugly." (Nicki, if you are reading this, yeah. Yeah.) But that's rude and I don't say that, or I didn't used to say that. I do now, but then I laugh like I am joking afterward so it's all good. suay -- you are/she is beautiful. suay maag -- you are/she is very beautiful. my suay -- you are ugly, fool.
4. poot len -- literally, I speak play, or I am just joking. I say this after I tell the students something offensive or belittling, as in after "No, you are ugly."
5. pie nye -- Where are you going? This is a common greeting, almost like how are you but not. Same-same-but-different style. I usually answer with pie + where I am going, but you can just say pie tee-aw -- I go for pleasure, literally, or just chillin'.
6. The River Kwae (pronounced like quack without the -ck) -- a river made famous by WWII and some movie involving a bridge. Every foreigner, however, mistakenly calls it The River kwy -- The River "river buffalo," and since kwy is also slang for stupid, The River stupid. Still, you have to be careful, because there is also a word kway -- swear word for the male genitals. And be even more careful because of kuway -- banana, the actual fruit. You will defintely want to order and kuway ban -- banana shake, because they are delicious. These words sound painfully similar at times, and you will very likely make a mistake and have a giggling Thai person on your hands. That, or an offended one.

That's all for now. I am off to explore central Thailand for the next week. Found out yesterday that I have the whole week off. Oh Thailand and your last minute decisions. So if you are near Ayuthaya, Suphan Buri, Kanchanaburi, Bangkok, or Koh Samet, give me a call and we can hang.